Facebook Poetry

This has been a week of random hilarity for me.  Also for some reason Facebook has been more hilarious than usual as well.  So I decided to take random Facebook status updates of my friends and arrange them into some odd prose.  The updates are 99.9% as they appeared on Facebook, so any misspellings are due to the fact that my Facebook friends have more to do with their lives than proofread their updates before hitting the “Post” button.  And I love them for that.  Take a looksee.  You may find an update of your own buried in these stanzas.

I am going to let fate take me wherever it wants to go. I’m flooring a golf cart around this golf course thinking of the Geico commercial with the pig that wees all the way home.  Ok. Here I go. A big step out of my box.  Voluntarily got in the body scanner line at security by accident. Whoops. I’ve got nothin….  No chump love, suckas!  I’m heartbroken every time I leave here. But tomorrow is our special day!

Evidently this is my week to put my entire LEG in my mouth, not just my foot. *facepalm* To those who know why I’m posting this…you have my sincerest apologies. No offense was intended. I was eating w/ a friend. They said,”What is that sour smell.” I said,”Smells like poop.” Then realized it was stinky tofu!!  Ummmmm…. I’m not sayin anything.  How many bugs have you drank?  mmmm new blood.  My day is complete now.

My thought this morning- If sugar filled cerals give box top points for kids education, than shouldn’t boxed wine have points on it for rehab?  Excuse my spelling from here on out. Not even spell check will help. I am officially on mojito time!  Other people’s illiteracy is my entertainment.  And the criminals will be required to police and arrest themselves.

The drill at LGB is about to begin. This is amazing.  Can’t find the music in the buzz of the tree trimmers…..  was that an earthquake?  Hail! What’s the rule?  Awe, sweet quiet has been restored…..  I love when the night turns out to be great.

Photo Credit:  Theeradech Sanin